Neti and "NO"

We're at an awkward stage of the language barrier. Neti and Meke understand dozens English words and phrases. However, they don't know how to respond in English. Consequently, to the casual observer it might appear that politeness and obedience are out the window. Nothing illustrates this more than Neti's fixation on the word "No".

Under normal circumstances a 6-year-old has several hundred words to choose from to let Mom and Dad know what's going on in their gray matter. Neti, though, doesn't have that luxury. When Mommy or Daddy ask her to do something and she can't find the proper English response, she has two choices.

Choice #1: Talk with a line of reasoning that makes perfect sense to her but sounds like random string of unintelligible syllables and random chatter to Mommy and Daddy. (This usually results in Daddy smiling and saying "I have no idea what you just said," followed by a repeating of instructions in English.)

Choice #2: Just Say "NO!"

"No" means a lot of things. When Mom says, "Wash your hands, it's time to eat," NO can mean "I will as soon as I go to the bathroom" or "I thought you wanted me to pick up my toys first". It can mean, "I don't like green beans, so please don't put them on my plate" or "Can't we stay up and play a little longer?"

But we're wise to the fact that "no" can also mean, "You're not my boss!" or "Don't tell me what to do!"

So we're faced with paying much more attention to details. We don't want to discipline a child when her "no" means, "I'm hot. I'd rather sleep without a blanket tonight". Neither do we want to give a pass to a verbal act of defiance.